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  I’ve been living two lives for the past seven years.

  One with Victor and the other with Damien.

  Victor I’ve known all my life. When his parents died he even came to live with my family and I. I was so in love with him. It wasn’t until years into our relationship I started to see the faults in him. Then he went off to Iraq.

  Damien was the bad boy biker at our high school. Even while I was with Victor, I couldn’t keep my eyes off of him. Then I got on the back of his bike and I thought I finally found my home. Then Victor came back wounded.

  That was all five years ago and now those two lives and my two loves are starting to converge. I don’t know who I am anymore and I don’t know who I want to be with. Though these two guys won’t let me be single for long.

  But one of them has gotten me into a lot of trouble with the mob. And now it’s up to the other one to save me. And before you roll your eyes, that statement isn’t what you think. You’ll be surprised who the bad guy really is.

  I promise to find my happily ever after, even if it’s at the Wrath MC clubhouse in the arms of an alpha biker or in the high society world where I was born and in the arms of my ex-army man.

  Ashley Southerland was here.

  Sleepless Nights (Wrath MC, #1)

  Amanda Heath

  Sleepless Nights

  Copyright © 2014 by Amanda Heath

  All rights reserved. No part of this book may be used or reproduced in any manner without written permission from the author, except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical articles and for review purposes.

  This book is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places and events are products of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously and are not to be construed as real. Any resemblances to actual events, locales, organizations, or persons living or dead, are entirely coincidental.

  The use of artist and song titles throughout this book are done so for storytelling purposes and should in no way be seen as advertisement. Trademark names are used in an editorial fashion, with no intention of infringement of the respective owner’s trademark.

  Cover:

  Cover design by Robin Harper

  Wicked by Design

  Editing by Nicole Bailey ProofBeforeYouPublish

  Formatting by Amanda Heath

  Other books by Amanda Heath

  This Beautiful Thing (Young Love, #1)

  Fire In Her Eyes (Young Love, #2)

  Norma Jean (Young Love, #3)

  Wrong Kind of Love (Young Love, #4)

  Make Me (Make or Break, #1)

  Break Me (Make or Break, #2)

  Save Me (Make or Break, #3)

  Sleepless Nights (Wrath MC, #1)

  Table of Contents

  Author’s Note

  Prologue

  One

  Two

  Three

  Four

  Five

  Six

  Seven

  Eight

  Nine

  Ten

  Eleven

  Twelve

  Thirteen

  Epilogue

  About the Author

  Author’s Note

  I sat on Ashley’s book for weeks. I knew I wanted to write it next but I just couldn’t find my muse. Well not until I came up with a sexy biker named Damien. That’s when I realized Ashley and Victor had a way different life then I had originally thought. If you are a new reader of mine, just know you don’t have to read my Make or Break series to follow along with this one. Ashley and Victor were both in the series but they were never main characters. They were talked about in passing and only had a few scenes, nothing you’ll need to understand this book. If you are an old reader (not that you’re old but more you have been reading my books for awhile) Ashley may or may not end up with Victor. This is a love triangle and Damien has his say, as does Victor. Love or hate me for it, there is a happy ever after for Ashley and whoever she ends up with. I’m very happy with the way this ended. Plus the guy who doesn’t end up with Ashley will have his own story as I discovered while finishing this book. Thank you for taking your chance on this book and I hope you love it as much as I do!

  Much Love,

  Manda

  Prologue

  Ashley

  I knew in my gut today was going to suck. It was this feeling I got when I first woke up. My palms were sweating and I had this never-ending sinking stomach sensation. I also reached for Victor, my ex-boyfriend who I haven’t spoken to in a year. He was always my blanket of safety, even when I was little. I think I’ll always wake up and reach for him.

  But there are some things you can’t forgive.

  I got up a whole hour before I had to this morning. I went through my entire morning routine, but very slowly. I was dressed and in my car thirty minutes before I had to be. I took a longer way to work and got there fifteen minutes before I had to.

  I let myself and my husky Chuck into the vet office I own, walking him to the huge fenced in backyard that is a part of the place. We act as an animal-boarder too, so the huge yard is a must.

  I relieved the overnight attendant ten whole minutes before I had to. I tried to eat a bagel with cream cheese for breakfast but I couldn’t stomach it. My coffee didn’t even seem to calm me down.

  So like the woman I am, I just went with it. There is no point wanting the other shoe to drop when I had several things I needed to take care of. It was Friday after all. Two whole days off and away from the noisy place where I make my living.

  But I should have wanted to get it over with. I actually should have stayed at home but I never listen to my gut. The damn organ seems to get me into way too much trouble.

  My first clue that my “something ominous” was about to happen was when my receptionist, Danielle, burst into the exam room. I had a kitty with some blockage and she startled us both. She actually startled my client so badly the kitty pooped on me.

  I looked at Danielle like I wanted to murder her. I handed the kitty over to its owner and headed into the small bathroom in the hallway. Danielle followed me. “Okay so there is this really hot guy in the front room. He says he doesn’t have an appointment. So I asked him what was wrong with his pet and he told me he doesn’t have a pet. Now he refuses to leave and wants to speak to you.”

  I scrub my arm up to my elbow with disinfectant soap and take in what she’s saying. I assume it’s Victor because no other really hot guy would come looking for me. Maybe four years ago I might have had another guess but I really didn’t need to bring up that blast from the past.

  “Tell him I’ll be right out,” I tell her absently as I continue to scrub. When I was finally done I made my way to the front.

  My second clue should have been the motorcycle rumbling outside. Goose flesh breaks out over my skin and the sinking feeling gets worse. It’s been four years since I’ve heard that noise. Four long years that I pretended not to think about. That time in my life I’m not proud of.

  I took a deep breath and walked up to the front window. My eyes caught on the black motorcycle boots on a pair of toned legs. I knew he’d be wearing some metal band t-shirt and his black hair would be in his face. His dark blue eyes would take me back and the sensory overload that was his tattoos would give me a headache.

  “Glossy. Can I talk to you for a second?” Storm says in his grumbling low voice. His eyebrows arch up when he takes in my wide-open mouth. His long elegant nose sits between his eyes with a tiny bump in the middle. His lips tip up on one side in his infamous crooked smile.

  “I don’t have any time right now. Lots of sick animals to look after. I’m sure you understand,” I tell him after I regain my composure. I tuck a few locks of my black hair behind my ear. My hair is a few shad
es lighter than Storm’s. Four years ago people thought the two of us were siblings considering how similar some of our features are. We aren’t related at all though.

  Storm laughs and comes closer to the window. He reaches his arm over the half door and grabs my wrist gently before I can pull it away. “You ain’t really got a choice, Glossy. I got orders to bring you back to the clubhouse. We’re under lockdown.”

  I try to pull my arm away but he holds it securely. “I don’t have to do shit, Storm. And stop calling me that. My fucking name is Ashley.”

  Storm reaches over and twists the doorknob and pushes open the half door. He guides me around the door and drags me out the front door. I push and shove away from him but I never get anywhere. My breathing grows labored and I watch as Danielle starts to pick up the phone.

  I stop struggling immediately. “Don’t call the cops Danielle. I swear to God if you do then you’re fired. Just close up shop and I’ll be back as soon as I can.” She slams the phone down and nods her head. There are times when I’m fucking around, but right now I’m completely serious and she knows it.

  “I see you still know the rules, Glossy.” Storm chuckles when he sits down on his bike. Lola, his old lady, sits on her bike a few feet away. The tiny Latina girl gives me a huge smile and a big wave. I flip her off with my free hand. They both know why I stepped away from the club four years ago. Luckily, that reason isn’t here right now. These two I can handle.

  When Storm lets my wrist go I stride over to Lola’s bike and climb on behind her. I got into a fistfight with her once because I got on the back of Storm’s bike. He likes to watch his old lady fight with other women. It turns his crazy ass on. Lola laughs when I wrap my arms around her waist and peels out.

  It’s been four years, three days, twenty-five minutes and eight seconds since I was last on a bike. I feel that time in every bone in my body. There is nothing more freeing than riding on one of these. I tip my head back, close my eyes and let the wind stream my hair behind me. I’d let my arms go but Lola drives like a nutty bitch and would take a sharp turn just to throw me off.

  I know what you’re thinking. I basically just let this Storm guy kidnap me. There are a few things you need to know. And I guess now would be a good time to fill you in. Well, on some of it.

  Storm is a very important part of my past. He used to be like my brother. He used to stand by my side and I knew I could always trust him to protect my back. When you lose a relationship like that it cuts deep. I feel a loss in my soul, and deep down I know it’ll never be the same. But I can’t blame our separation on myself, or even Storm. I have to blame it on my ex-boyfriend Victor.

  I honestly have to blame lots of things on my ex-boyfriend. Seems my life starts and ends with Victor. He’s been involved since the beginning.

  Victor was twelve when his parents were killed in a car accident. My mother was his and his little sister, Annabella’s, godmother. So they came to live with us - my mother, my two younger brothers, and me. It was a tight fit but my mom bought a bigger house, one where we could each have our own room. It’s safe to say my mother could afford it but that’s not relevant right now.

  Anyway, Victor and I were the oldest, being five years older than my brother Donovan and six years older than my brother Courtney and Victor’s sister Annabella. We stuck together because we had way more in common than either of us had with the other three.

  I had always been in love with him. He had always been my friend; he had always been there. It only seemed natural to love him and want to be with him. Only it took him a few years to get with the program. Maybe I just became more interested in boys before he became more interested in girls.

  That first kiss was magical. I honestly thought I found my one true love. Though at first I thought it was gross he stuck his tongue in my mouth, I quickly got over it.

  The day he turned eighteen Victor bought a house for him and his sister. I, of course, moved in with them. Then Victor decided he needed to join the army with his best friend Talon. The day before he was shipped out to Iraq he proposed. I told him that was a shitty thing to do; asking me the day before he was shipped out. I wasn’t going to be an army wife. Not that there is anything wrong with being one. It just wasn’t for me. I wanted to go to vet school. I wanted to stay in Dallas with my mom and my brothers.

  If he had joined for the simple pleasure of protecting our country, then my answer would probably have been different. At least then I would have known it was really what he wanted to do. But no, he joined because he wanted to be with his best friend. I suppose since Talon’s father was the governor of Texas, he thought it would be a cakewalk.

  And I guess it was, until his second tour. He got shot along his left side and was honorably discharged. I couldn’t have been happier about the discharge. Not the getting shot. When I got the call from Talon that Victor had been shot, I felt a part of me die. I was literally waiting for that call to come. I couldn’t shake the feeling he was going to get hurt that time.

  Then I was left with a different Victor. One with PTSD. His episodes got so bad he scared the shit out of my younger cousin Wesley. She can’t look at him without flinching. He used to call out the names of his dead friends at night. He would shoot straight up with agony outlining every inch of his body. I couldn’t do anything for him. I couldn’t take his demons from him.

  I didn’t deserve to anyway. I did something horrible while he was gone to war. Something I’ll never forgive myself for.

  I used to hate myself because of what I did to Victor and he didn’t even know about it. Every time he looked at me with love in his eyes and asked me to marry him, I had to turn him down.

  I guess you’ll get all the facts at some point, but right now what I did isn’t part of the story. Besides, it’s time to talk about Annabella.

  Annabella was best friends with my brother Courtney and dating my brother Donovan. Thankfully she didn’t have anything to do with my half-brother Channing. Then one day, it turns out she was sleeping with Courtney behind Donovan’s back. It was hard to be upset with Courtney over that. The way Court looked at Annabella was downright the most romantic thing I have ever seen. He was in love with her, like he wouldn’t love anyone else again, kind of love.

  Then she fucked everything up even more. She had an abortion and got addicted to meth. And this all came to light on Courtney’s wedding day. Turns out we were all wrong, he could love again. And love better and stronger.

  Victor and I had already split from each other at this point. I was tired of him enabling Annabella. He let her do whatever she wanted and didn’t punish her at all when she messed up. A few months later he told her to choose the drugs or him and she chose the drugs.

  Then he wanted me to move back in with him. Just be with him after all of that. I was no longer in love with him by that point. I mean, part of me will always love him. I couldn’t just throw a life-long relationship away and not love him. I just couldn’t be with him. I resented him for making me feel guilty when he was keeping horrible things from me. I resented him for not taking care of Annabella sooner. He shouldn’t have let it get so bad.

  I shouldn’t have let it get so bad.

  A year ago I thought we would get back together. We were dating like we never got to. He picked me up from my mother’s house and took me on actual dates. It was the time of my life. We got to act like the silly teenagers we would never be again. I was happy to give that to him. He never got to act like that, not ever. He grew up too soon and had a little sister to raise.

  Then he asked me to marry him for the last time. He even said that. He said he would never ask me to marry him again.

  I told him no, even though I wanted to say yes.

  He walked away from me without a backwards glance.

  To this day he still doesn’t know what I’ve done.

  Why I said no.

  Because I’m already married.

  ***

  When we arrive at the Wrath MC clubhouse
, I almost throw up. Every motorcycle in the greater Dallas area seems to be parked in the lot. I hop up from Lola’s bike and back a few feet away. “What’s going on?” I know it has to be big. Even after four years I’ve never been called in for a lockdown.

  Lola smirks at me. “I could tell you but you’re not a part of the club anymore.”

  I roll my eyes. “If I’m not a part of the club then why the fuck am I here? This looks like I’m a part of the club, whether I want to be or not.”

  Storm comes up behind me and gently pushes me towards the front doors of the clubhouse. “That’s the point, Glossy. You don’t want to be a part of the club.”

  I guess he’s right. If I had wanted to be a part of this place I would have stayed with Rage. Rage being my husband of four years. The marriage I’ve been hiding from my family and Victor. I would have just gotten divorced but Rage wouldn’t sign the papers even after I had them served. My entire family would have found out. I kept hoping he’d find someone else to settle down with. Some pretty little thing that would want to marry him and have his babies.

  I guess you could say I repressed it. I pushed it into the back of my mind and went on with my life like the two years I was with Rage didn’t happen. It was the right thing to do. The two of us didn’t fit together in a relationship. I wanted to be independent and he wanted to control everything.

  That’s what’s wrong with both of the men I’ve loved. They wanted me to be the housewife who took care of the kids. I just can’t do that. I have to have my freedom. I want to leave the house whenever I want. I want to speak my mind and party whenever I want. Not that I party all the time, but I would like the option.