Make Me

  Make Me (Make or Break, #1)

  Amanda Heath

  Make Me

  Copyright © 2013 by Amanda Heath

  All rights reserved. No part of this book may be used or reproduced in any manner without written permission from the author, except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical articles and for review purposes.

  This book is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places and events are products of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously and are not to be construed as real. Any resemblances to actual events, locales, organizations, or persons living or dead, are entirely coincidental.

  The use of artist and song titles throughout this book are done so for storytelling purposes and should in no way been seen as advertisement. Trademark names are used in an editorial fashion, with no intention of infringement of the respective owner’s trademark.

  Cover:

  Stock Image © Refat

  Cover design by Robin Harper

  Wicked by Design

  Editing by Olivia Boyd

  Formatting by Little Dove Formatting

  For Kristin

  I didn’t understand what a true best friend was before you came into my life.

  Other books by Amanda Heath

  This Beautiful Thing (Young Love, #1)

  Fire In Her Eyes (Sumer Love, #1)

  Norma Jean (Young Love and Summer Love, #2)

  Wrong Kind of Love (Young Love, #3)

  Angel Cuffs (Paranormal Erotica Short)

  Table of Contents

  Chapter 1

  Chapter 2

  Chapter 3

  Chapter 4

  Chapter 5

  Chapter 6

  Chapter 7

  Chapter 8

  Chapter 9

  Chapter 10

  Chapter 11

  Chapter 12

  Chapter 13

  Chapter 14

  Chapter 15

  Chapter 16

  Chapter 17

  Chapter 18

  Chapter 19

  Chapter 20

  Chapter 21

  Chapter 22

  Chapter 23

  Chapter 24

  Chapter 25

  Chapter 26

  Chapter 27

  Chapter 28

  Chapter 29

  Epilogue

  Break Me

  Acknowledgments

  About the Author

  Chapter 1

  “PAISLEY! ANSWER YOUR phone!” The voice of my best friend, Carly, filters in through my sleep. I blink open my eyes and realize that she isn’t actually here. She took my phone one night at a party and programmed her voice as her ringtone.

  I grab the offending thing from the floor in my bedroom and answer. “What?” I snarl, rubbing my eyes.

  “Good morning to you, too, grumpy,” she states in her sweet, china doll voice.

  “What do you want?” I say in the same voice, only minus the growl.

  I can see her in my mind. Her porcelain skin and amazing brown eyes. Her long, blonde hair pulled up in a ponytail, wearing a pair of jean shorts and a pink tank top. I’ve been best friends with her most of my life. She lives two trailers down from me with her dad and older brother. Her dad is a nice guy but he has the “can’t get right gene”.

  “Do you need a ride to school, grumpy? I’m leaving in like ten minutes,” she says and I can see her shit-eating grin through the phone.

  “Dang,” I say, rubbing my eyes some more. “Yeah, but we’ll have to be late. BeeBee isn’t awake yet. I’ve got to feed her and make sure she’s taken care of for the rest of the day.” BeeBee is my little sister. She’s two and full of life.

  “I was only joking about the ten minutes, silly. It’s only seven.” She laughs and I smack my forehead. Not one of my finer moments. My alarm clock is sitting right next to my bed and it reads 7:01 a.m.

  “Thanks for the wake up call, asshole.” I hang up before she gets onto me for cursing. I used to curse all the time, before my little sister came along. She doesn’t need to hear that from me. Mom curses enough for the entire world.

  I scramble out of bed and head into the only bathroom in the house. I find a needle and rubber tube sitting on the bathroom counter. Instead of freaking out like someone else might, I quickly throw them away in the trash. Mom’s new boyfriend deals in heroin, so right now it’s her drug of choice. I don’t really care; the woman has never shown me any love.

  I grab my brush from under the sink and pull my hair up into a ponytail. I line my eyes with liner and brush on some mascara. After that I take a moment to study my reflection. My hair is long, curly, and auburn. I spend a lot of time in the sun, so there are a lot of blonde highlights running through the strands. My eyes are deep green with shades of blue streaking through. My eyes are huge, and so are my lips, which are shaped like a bow.

  It’s really comical when I run into a group of guys I don’t know. They stop in their tracks, staring at my lips. Derek, Carly’s older brother, says they are perfect, perfect for sucking. Don’t worry – I slapped him upside his head for that one.

  I run back into my room and throw on a pair of low-rise skinny jeans and a green shirt. It’s a few years old, so it’s skintight. Not the kind of attention I want to bring to myself, but I’m dirt poor and I can’t afford new clothes. My mom won’t buy any clothes for me since I started throwing her drugs out. The skinny jeans are hers. If she isn’t going to buy me anything new, or give me money to get it myself, I’ll just steal hers.

  I pad into my little sister’s room, which is next door to mine. Her little, red head is peeking up from under her covers. I reach an arm into her crib and rub her back. Her little eyes open, showcasing her amazing, light green eyes. My little sister is gorgeous; I’m going to be beating boys off with sticks when she grows up.

  “Good morning, BeeBee,” I coo, picking her up. I lay her down on her fluffy pink rug on the floor. We can’t afford to buy a toddler bed, so she has to wear pull-ups at night. I had this little angel potty trained four days before she turned two.

  “Morwing Pawisley,” she tells me, rubbing her eyes. She’s a light sleeper, unlike me, so she can’t sleep with me. According to Carly, I toss, turn, and punch in my sleep. It would kill me to give BeeBee a black eye.

  I get her changed into her day clothes and she toddles behind me into the living room/kitchen area. Mom is either really high and out of it or she’s passed out. When I hear a snore, I realize she is passed out.

  BeeBee and I sit at the kitchen table while I feed us both from the same bowl of cereal. I’m seriously lucky our next-door neighbor loves kids. She has one of the nicest trailers in the park, and it doesn’t hurt that she keeps it spotless. She babysits a few kids, and when she found out about our situation she offered to watch BeeBee for free. I think I cried for like ten minutes on Ms. Summers’ floor. She sat besides me and patted my back the whole time. I freaking love that women.

  After we finish eating I grab my backpack and pick BeeBee up. I take a look at the trailer before I exit. One old patched up couch sits against the wall next to the door. A small box TV sits on a table across from the couch. The carpet is an ugly brown with stains galore, all over it. The kitchen has an old wooden table with four plastic chairs. The fridge is ancient and barely holds the food. We used to have a microwave, but in-between boyfriends my mom pawned it. The stove is old and barely works. I’ve stopped trying to cook on it. Instead I pitch in with Carly’s dad and we eat dinner over there every night.

  Shaking my head, I head next door to Ms. Summers’ to drop off BeeBee. BeeBee is not her actual name. My mom, believe it or not, comes from money. I’ve never met any of her family, but she rants and raves about how loaded they are. She says they don’t care about us, and hey, if tha
t’s the way they feel, then screw them. Anyway, mom thought it would be funny to name us with big names. Rich names. I’m Paisley Noelle Vaughn and BeeBee is Beatrice Victoria Vaughn. I was not about to call my sister Beatrice. No thank you.

  Ms. Summers happily takes an equally happy BeeBee. “I’ll see you after school, Ms. Summers!” I say on my way out the door. I would get a job but Mom would just steal all my money. And I couldn’t ask Ms. Summers to watch her that long. As soon as I graduate though, I’ll be finding permanent employment. That way I can pay Ms. Summers and she’ll only have to watch her for eight hours, while I’m at work.

  “Paisley, looking sexy as usual,” Derek says when I knock on their door. Besides his pervy ways, he’s a decent dude. He doesn’t drink or do any drugs and has a steady girlfriend. He also has a steady job at a mechanic shop in town. He hits on me because I think it’s funny and it annoys Carly.

  “Looking pervy as usual, Derek.” I smirk and dip under his arm to enter their home. Mr. Peters is at the kitchen table reading the newspaper and drinking a cup of coffee. He works over night at the local chicken plant, and luckily he’s had this job for six months. Maybe he’ll stay away from the alcohol this time.

  About seven months ago he wrecked the family car after a night of boozing, and I’m pretty sure Derek kicked the shit out of him. I think it was a wake up call and he is actually trying to get his act together this time.

  “Morning, Paisley. Want some coffee?” he asks me.

  I nod and head over to the table, setting my bag on the floor. Mr. Peters is in his early forties and has dirty blonde hair with greys growing at his temples. His eyes are brown but I’ve never seen them sparkle, not like his children’s. Derek takes the seat next to me and grins as he places my cup down in front of me.

  Unknown to Carly (and really, I feel bad about it) I lost my virginity after a party to Derek. I was really drunk and had just found out Mom was pregnant. Derek was equally as drunk, and you know… things happen. He felt really bad about it the next morning; the only thing I felt bad about was puking all over his bedroom floor. It was just my virginity – who takes that seriously nowadays?

  Derek, though, is super hot. His dirty blonde hair is long, down to his shoulders, and he keeps it tied back. His brown eyes are the color of dark chocolate and they smolder. It’s really sexy but I only get a tiny twinge of lust. We only had sex the one time, but it was my first time, so of course it sucked. He wanted to date me, but I was not going there. I don’t want a boyfriend. Never have, never will. I don’t even know what got into me the night I spent with him. I don’t get turned on, or go gaga over a guy. That’s Carly’s department.

  “Paisley! Let’s go before Derek decides to devour your face.” Her eyes are bugging out of her head when I turn to look at her. Those eyes are pointed at Derek so I look over at him. Of course his eyes are pointed at my lips. Being the bitch that I am, I nibble on my bottom one for a second and blink my eyes a few times at him. When he starts panting I giggle and get up.

  Mr. Peters slaps him on the back of the head, knocking Derek out of his lust haze. “Damn, Paisley, if you would have me, I would treat you so…right.” He winks at me as he follows my eye movement.

  “Don’t lie to me Derek,” I exclaim. “Donna would kill you and then me. Besides, you love her too much.”

  He sighs and finally looks away. “You’re right. Y’all have a good day at school!” he shouts as Carly and I head out the front door.

  “My brother is such a pervert!” she shouts as well. I can only chuckle.

  After we climbed into her old Pontiac Grand Am, she starts in on me. “So…Laney said Ben was asking about you. He totally wants to date you.” I see her look at me hopefully from the corner of my eye.

  I rub in-between my eyes after hearing this. I’m sick to death of her trying to find me a boyfriend. She’s been with Mark Gauthier’s for like five years. Just because she’s happy with a guy, doesn’t mean I will be. Besides, I’m happy now. “Drop it, Carly. You know I don’t want a man.”

  “I don’t know why. A guy could drive you to and from school. Could help fix things up around your house. Help you with your homework. And if you find the right man, you could even have him take you out on dates that include BeeBee.” She grins over at me and I can only roll my eyes.

  “I’m in freaking high school, Carly. I don’t need to settle down. I’m good how I am.” She goes to open her mouth to spew out more nonsense, so I just glower at her. She rightly shuts up.

  I go through my whole day on autopilot. It’s the only way to get through high school. I’m two weeks into my senior year and I already wish I were graduated. I want to get BeeBee way from my mom so she doesn’t have to go through the things that I did.

  ***

  I’m waiting for Carly at the end of the day, by her car. She comes out holding hands with Mark. Those two will be married the second they get out of high school. Mark is insanely smart, though, so I’m thinking Carly has her ticket out of the trailer park. Too bad I’ll always be stuck there.

  They kiss for like ten minutes until I start clearing my throat. I have to do it five times before they break apart. “I’ll see you tonight?” he asks. Carly nods. “Later Paisley,” he states, tossing his dark brown hair out of his blue eyes. Carly didn’t do badly in the looks department either. Not bad at all.

  “Later, Mark.” I wave and climb into Carly’s car. We chat about random stuff on the way home. The second she pulls to a stop in front of my house, though, I get a horrible feeling. “Will you come in with me for a second?” I ask her softly.

  She looks puzzled but after seeing the look on my face she gets out with me. We silently walk into the house. If I had known this would be the second my entire life would change, I don’t know if I would have walked into that house.

  My mom is lying on her side on the couch. Her left arm is hanging off with the rubber tube still tied around her arm. The needle and spoon are on lying on the floor. Her dark green eyes are open and staring lifelessly. Her greasy red hair is pulled back from her face. If she had her eyes closed she would have looked like she was sleeping.

  I always knew I would come home and find her like this. I always knew I would come home and find her dead.

  Chapter 2

  I DON’T KNOW how long I sat there and stared at her lifeless body. Hours, minutes, seconds maybe. I do know it felt like an eternity. All I could think about is what I was going to do next. I’d have to drop out of school and get a job so I could make rent, pay the bills, and care for BeeBee. I didn’t want to drop out, but I could always go back and get my GED.

  My mother wasn’t a loving mother and I honestly wasn’t that close to her. Of course I love her, she did give me life, and she never hit me or screamed at me. She just never gave a damn. Everything was about her. Now I have to upend my own life just to care for another unwanted baby she brought into the world.

  Before long the paramedics show up. They try to resuscitate her but nothing happens. I prayed that she would come back to life, but that never happened. Carly sat on the living room floor with me, holding my hand while they worked on her. I’m also guessing she called 9-1-1. I haven’t moved from this spot since I found her.

  Carly talks to some officers and I just know they are going to take BeeBee and I, separate us, and make us live with some foster parent who doesn’t give a shit about us either. Isn’t that how this works?

  Hours later, after they have taken my mom away and Ms. Summers came over and said she’d take care of BeeBee tonight, this older woman shows up. I assume she is from child protective services but I don’t know how she could afford such expensive clothing.

  I take in her grey pencil skirt and matching jacket. There is a white blouse underneath the jacket and her grey hair is pulled up into a bun. She wears a simple gold necklace. I’d say she was in her sixties but she might be older since it looks like she takes care of her skin.

  Then I notice her eyes and this freaks me o
ut even more because they are my eyes. The same deep green with streaks of blue. WTF? “Are you from child protective services?” I rush out, finally getting to my feet. “Look, I turn eighteen in five months. I can get emancipated and get a job. I can support my little sister, I swear I can. Please, please, please don’t separate us. And please don’t make me go into foster care. I can make BeeBee’s life better than that.”

  She looks shocked for a few seconds before her face cools over into a look of boredom. That right there, oh, and the eyes, should have tipped me off. I wasn’t prepared for what she was going to say.

  “Paisley, I believe you have me mistaken for someone else.” She pauses and pulls her arm out from her body to point at the couch. The one Mom died on.

  I shake my head. “She died there,” I say, barely above a whisper.

  Her face pales and she looks away. I must still be in shock, because I swear there was a look of pain that crossed her face. “The kitchen then?” she asks, swaying her arm towards the kitchen this time. I nod and lead the way.

  She waits until I’m seated before sitting down in one of the old plastic chairs. I think how wrong she looks. With her expensive clothes and elegant manners. “Paisley, I’m your maternal grandmother. Virginia was my daughter.” She states it so simply. I even blink a few times thinking she most have been speaking in tongues.

  “Who is Virginia?” I ask, stumped. My mothers name was Sally.

  It’s her turn to look puzzled. She finally shakes her head before going on. “Virginia was your mother. I forgot she changed her name when she walked out of the family.” Saying this makes her look even sadder. That’s when I know this woman is telling the truth. “Even though I haven’t spoken to her in sixteen years, she still had me listed as her next of kin. She also left me custody of you and Beatrice.”